You may think that Phil is happily married with a cushy job.
But Phil has a secret.
You may think that Phil has everything going for him.
But beneath the rosy exterior, Phil struggles against his demons every day.
You see – Phil is an addict.
He is addicted to others’ approval.
Would you be able to guess that about Phil at first glance?
Of course not.
After all, there are no shiftiness, rotten teeth, or facial sores to point him out.
But watch him closely and the clues will be there.
Here are 20 dead giveaway signs of approval addiction
1. Avoiding No
Phil avoids saying no. He fears others will become upset or think he’s a bad person.
So he says yes, even if it adds more stress to his life.
He dims his light and speaks less than he usually does. He always waits for the “right thing” to say.
3. Attempting to Fit In and Impress
Phil tries to fit into groups.
He pretends to be interested in things he is not. He exaggerates his experiences, wealth, or achievements.
4. Being Self-Conscious
He feels self-consciousness and doubts about how he is coming across. He imagines he should be someone “better” than he is.
5. Nervous Laughter
He is quick to laugh at whatever others say, even if it’s not that funny.
His laugh comes too quickly, too often, or at inappropriate times.
6. Pressure to Entertain
He feels pressure to have something great to share.
When with others, he is scouring his mind for a funny or engaging story so that the conversation keeps flowing.
7. Overly Agreeable
He smiles, nods, and is very agreeable with others.
Even if his actual opinion on the subject is something different.
8. Avoiding Disagreement
He avoids disagreeing with others, challenging others, or stating alternative perspectives.
9. Fear of Judgment
He is afraid of the judgments of others. This makes him nervous, hesitant, and socially anxious.
10. Fear of Upsetting Others
He is afraid that others are secretly angry or critical of him.
It doesn’t matter if they seem to like him when they’re together.
11. Habitual Apologies
He is quick to apologize out of habit, even if there’s really no need to do so.
12. Submissive Body Language
His body language is submissive. He looks away frequently or keeps his eyes down.
13. Putting Others First
He puts others’ needs ahead of his own. He thinks it is selfish to do otherwise.
14. Not Stating Desires
He doesn’t state what he wants directly. Instead, he “suggests” or “implies” something and hopes the other person detects it.
15. Acting Defensive
When he is unfairly criticized, judged, or disrespected, he becomes defensive.
And sometimes he overreacts.
He feels more comfortable leaving the decisions to others.
17. Seeking Reassurance
He seeks reassurance when he runs into difficult situations.
18. Having Weak Boundaries
He has really weak boundaries.
He allows others to walk all over him.
19. Pretending Everything’s Perfect
He puts on a mask of fake positivity and pretends everything’s just perfect…
Even when things are clearly not.
20. Difficulty with Endings
He has difficulty ending things:
- romantic relationships
He drags things out longer than he really wants to.
Okay, so now you know the signs.
Maybe you have found a few of them in yourself as well?
So what’s the big deal – you ask? It seems pretty harmless, right?
It will lead you down a path of anxiety, loneliness, terrible relationships, exhaustion – even panic attacks and depression.
Read here to know more about the costs of approval addiction
Not something you can ignore, right?
Now that you’re aware, resolve to get rid of your approval addiction.
Even if it feels like you’re destined to be this way…
I assure you – change is possible.