Not a Subscriber?

Join 900+ subscribers learning how to become assertive, being more authentic and getting rid of guilt, anxiety and resentment while reading the Resilient Relationships Newsletter.

Approval Addiction: Do You Really Need to get rid of It? This Will Help You Decide!

Subhajit Banerjee

March 6, 2023

Approval Addiction, Self Confidence

Approval Addiction: Do You Really Need to get rid of It? This Will Help You Decide!

You have heard me talk about approval addiction for quite a while now.

And I’m sure you could relate to some of it.

Maybe the terrible costs of it caused you concern?

Maybe you could see some of the symptoms in yourself?

And maybe the results that I and my clients got for ourselves inspired you?

But you’re still not sold on the need to get rid of it.

After all, it’s not THAT bad, right?

It’s not as if your house is on fire.

And, even if you get rid of it, will it really make that much of a difference?

Is it really worth it?

I’ll let you be the judge of that.

So here are 9 incredible ways your life changes when you get rid of approval addiction:

1. You Start Being You

You start feeling like yourself when you get rid of approval addiction.

Now, “Being You” is in rage everywhere.

But what does it really mean?

It’s your ability to look inward and know who you are, what you think, what you feel, what you want, and what you believe.

It’s you being able to love, accept and respect all that you see.

And it’s you bringing it all forth and sharing it with the world.

It comes across in your energy.

You’re able to share what you actually think and feel.

Now you can share what’s in your mind and heart.

You ask what you really want to ask.

You make comments, jokes, or silly responses.

Eventually, you start being the real you.

2. You Stop Judging and Rejecting Yourself

As you start being the real you, amazing things start to happen.

You start letting go of your shame and guilt.

You start accepting your so-called “negative” traits – pettiness, anger, jealousy, greed, sexual desires – all of them.

They stop being such a big deal.

You start liking yourself and even loving yourself.

What others will think about you stops bothering you that much.

You feel lighter, energetic, and free.

You start being at peace with yourself.

3. You’re Less Anxious

You start feeling less anxiety about sharing who you are right now.

Now you no longer feel the need to keep everything perfect.

You no longer wait to share your views until you have sorted out your emotions.

Or until you’ve gone through 14 more self-development books.

You start believing you are enough, right now.

4. You Stand Taller

You start standing taller, erect, yet more relaxed.

Your head is level instead of looking downwards.

You make eye contact with people in general, and with those you’re speaking to.

You can hold their gaze in a relaxed, steady manner.

Your body moves in a more fluid, graceful, and natural way.

You start oozing charisma that attracts others to you like iron fillings to a magnet.

5. You Start Trusting in Your Own Power

As a result, you choose your own direction and destiny.

In addition to it, you trust in your own capabilities and resourcefulness.

And you start doing whatever you need to do to reach there.

You start showing up as equal to those around you.

Not as an inferior, or a superior.

You become a force to be reckoned with.

6. You Speak up When you Need

You become secure in who you are.

So you have no trouble speaking up.

Eventually, you say what needs to be said, unapologetically, even when the others are studying their shoelaces.

You do that in social settings, in your close relationships, and at work.

And then, you say what you think, ask for what you want, and speak your truth.

You do that even when it feels uncomfortable.

And as you do that, you earn respect and admiration from others.

7. You Start Standing Out

When you get rid of approval addiction, you stop letting guilt and fear motivate you.

Instead, you start tapping into deeper sources.

Inspiration. Excitement. Passion.

Love. Contribution.

Purpose.

And guess what happens when you do that?

Gradually, you break free from the herd.

Next, you dive into the unknown.

You dare to do what others won’t do because they are still clinging to safety and certainty.

You start standing out.

8. You Connect with Others not to Please them but to Know Them

You no longer look to please others.

Instead, when you walk to them this is what you radiate…

I’m here.

Now I am solid and grounded and I know who I am.

And I know what I am after. I know what I like and what I don’t like.

I like who I am.

From this secure place, you turn to others with curiosity…

Who are you?

What are you really like?

Who are you beneath that mask?

You share who you are, enjoy yourself, and discover who that person in front of you is.

You connect just to have fun.

9. People Like and Approve of you More

Do you know the paradox of approval addiction?

Once you get rid of it, people start liking you more.

You will start getting that approval you’ve always craved.

You attract them with ease and effortlessness. They are naturally drawn to you.

And this time – you know it’s for real.

If you feel you cannot be yourself, you suffer.

Period.

You may try to ignore this pain or push it down.

Maybe you don’t want to disturb the status quo. Or the relationship.

But the pain doesn’t just go away.

It just goes under.

Sometimes it surfaces as chronic pain or “injuries”.

Or it comes back as apathy, negativity, anxiety, negativity, dissatisfaction, or even depression.

But it doesn’t have to be your life anymore.

Now you know what life on the other side feels like.

Do you think it’s worth the effort now?

What will life look like for you once you get rid of your approval addictions?

How will it change your relationship with your friends? With your colleagues? With your loved ones?

What kind of interests will you start pursuing once again?

And how will you change the world?

Can you see it in your mind’s eyes? Can you believe it?

If you do, just reply back.

Let’s start this journey together.